I have been working so hard over the past week but I have finally made it through most of my 'to do list'. Write report Mark Level 4 work Mark presentations Write feedback Go to hospital Make Dr's appointment Make Botox appointment Get groceries
Purchase Obsidian Mirror
I am obsessed with having an Obsidian Mirror they might have them in stock at Mysteries by the end of the week.
Last week in Tracey's shop I met a girl called Helen. She was talking with Tracey about all things spiritual and happened to mention that she had attended a yoga class that 'nearly gave her an orgasm.' Much as I dislike exercise I decided that in this particular instance I was willing to give it a go. The class was called 'Kundalini & Gong' and is held every Tuesday night at The Alchemy Centre NW1. I rooted out my Yoga Pants that I only ever wear as Dog Walking Pants and set off to Camden. The centre is in The Stables Market. It is a very attractively designed space and it has a cafe that sells chocolate cake so as an enviroment it worked for me. Downstairs however there is a kick boxing studio so the green tea & wind chimes vibe was regularly interspersed by the screams and grunts of mortal combat below.
So after working for 9 weeks without getting paid, I should have some money this coming week and hopefully some more a few weeks after. The thing is that the university I work for have not only delayed payment for over two months but they have decided that they will spread payment of my salary over 10 months. Of course this is totally illegal but without a lawyer there is very little one can do about it. So I am not sure how much of my money I can get my hands on but I do know this. I need to
pay 2 months rent
pay council tax
pay back money I owe
replace the hall carpet (thank you Stella)
buy a new computer
get a ticket to Miami
have botox (should be at the top of the list)
buy new winter clothes and boots
It's pretty frightening as the whole stress of not having money for ages has been getting to me and now that I will finally get some money I am worried that there won't be enough money. If I had the money that they owe me I actually wouldn't be worried about money at all. Very annoying how money issues can be so pervasive
I see that I am in one of those places where I need to take stock of what is working in my life and what is not. I am exhausted, anti social (more so) and have little in the way of opitimism. I have not been feeling well and I really need to do something about it. This week I am going to
Make a Dr's appointment and get some blood tests done ( I should have done this when I fell but I hate him)
Buy some Floradix (which is £15 but really works)
Try and Meditate for a few minutes a day
Make sure I spend at least a few hours a day doing what I want to do rather than what I have to do
Eat really healthy, light food and drink fresh juice everyday
I might even attend a yoga class since a woman in Tracey's shop was talking about almost having an orgasm at a kundalini yoga class
Watching the sunlight break though the dawn is our new favourite thing. I have never really considered myself a morning person although my cafeine addiction normally rouses me in to action at a reasonably early hour. Stella's house training regime involves making sure that she is able to go to the toliet outside the flat very soon after she wakes up to eat her chicken & rice breakfast. She is sitting on my pillow looking hungry from around 6.45 so I have got into the habit of gulping expresso while she eats and pulling on last nights laundry and leaving the house just before 7.
It is really worth the effort though. The parks are wonderful at this time of day. London is wonderful. Life is wonderful. If you are waking up late wondering if you have missed the point of it all then really perhaps you have.
Stella and I got up extra early so we could go to the park and still be home in time for a repair man who almost certainly won't show up. We left the flat at around 6.55, it was still quiet dark and as we crossed Trafalgar Square the moon was still shining brightly in the South Western sky. Day light followed us into St James Park sunlight glistening through the last of the Autumn leaves still clinging to the trees. I still cry when I walk on to the park, the first section by the coffee stand was always Chilli's favourite bit. It is amazing how you can feel happy and sad at the same time.
As we walked around the pond we found a handsome baby pigeon with a broken wing. He was hobbling about under a bench. We picked him up and brought him home. He seemed happy to be held in my warm hand against my coat. On my return I emailed Eddy a wonderful man I met walking Chilli in St Giles Church Yard years ago. He is a committed animal lover and spends his weekends rescuing pigeons, untying thread from their feet and generally playing out the role of Saint Francis of Soho. Eddy got straight back to me, he was pleased that we had a new patient for his attention, he said he had a meeting with 'June the pigeon lady' later on but that he could bring it forward if our boy was in distress.
I peered into the dog carrier he is occupying in my bedroom. He was nibbling on a bagel and generally looking pretty calm.
'No rush' I reported back.
Miraculously the repair man did show up after all.
Stella is the same colour as the fallen autumn leaves on the park. Charlotte Roger's at last weeks talk at The Moot With No Name was discussing camouflage as being the art of making the 'visible invisible and the invisible visible.' It made perfect sense at the time and I was reminded of it as Stella disappeared into a pile of leaves. Charlotte was also speaking about working with animal spirits as part of her artistic and magickal practice. She is a vegetarian so she only works with found dead animals such as road kill. Her new book The Bloody Sacrifice has recently been published by Mandrake
Bloody awful, don't for a minute consider going to see this insuportable rubbish.
'Have you read the book?'
'Me neither but I don't think it had much to do with this crap'
We thought it should have been more along the lines of this .....
Sons of the Silent Age David Bowie, Heroes
I am obsessed with this track, it is playing constantly in my head reminding me of laying on the floor on my teenage bedroom, head full of pills, wrists wrapped in bandages.
I would go to the Nan Goldin exhibition at Mathew Marks Gallery in Chelsea. I adore Nan Goldins work, I fell in love with her work hundreds of years ago when I was at college. There is a documentary of her called I'll Be Your Mirror wonderful.
My dancing days are over! The orthopedic surgeon told me after a mere 3 hour wait that a little bit of my elbow had come off and was lodged in the joint of my arm. It is kind of in the way of the hinge limiting my movement quite a bit.
'Don't worry though it's only your left arm and you are right handed. '
'Thank you for pointing that out but I am not ready to be infirm'
He said my elbow was still full of blood (as well as dislodged bone) and that things may well get better in a couple of weeks.
They had better.