Sap Rising

Last week in Tracey's shop I met a girl called Helen. She was talking with Tracey about all things spiritual and happened to mention that she had attended a yoga class that 'nearly gave her an orgasm.' Much as I dislike exercise I decided that in this particular instance I was willing to give it a go. The class was called 'Kundalini & Gong' and is held every Tuesday night at The Alchemy Centre NW1. I rooted out my Yoga Pants that I only ever wear as Dog Walking Pants and set off to Camden. The centre is in The Stables Market. It is a very attractively designed space and it has a cafe that sells chocolate cake so as an enviroment it worked for me. Downstairs however there is a kick boxing studio so the green tea & wind chimes vibe was regularly interspersed by the screams and grunts of mortal combat below.

The studio was very calm and dark and the instructor Simon talked us through some uncomfortable postures while urging us to 'release past pain' in favour of present discomfort one assumes and 'attract the things we want in our lives'. I kind of believe that 'out with anger in with love ' stuff but at the same time it makes me want to throw myself on the floor like an irate toddler. It sort of went on and on like that. Uncomfortable pose, fire breathing, (think when Harry Met Sally) and then change to new uncomfortable pose and some more fire breath. It was nice though, it felt good to be at least trying to do something new. The class lasted 90 minutes which is a fuck of a long time to be posing and panting. Finally we got to the good bit,  we lay in the dark and the instructor played the Gongs. I was actually expecting some kind of Adams Family BONG type thing but what he did was amazing and worth every minute of the discomfort that preceded it. He played this most unearthly music that sent lights flashing through my minds eye it was a truly transcendent experience. Beautiful and really worth experiencing not orgasmic but definitely worth a go. Alchemy Centre have an introductory offer that enables you to attend as many classes as you like in a week.