Wednesday, 28 March 2012

A Ghost In My Own Home

I finally managed to edit my packing down to 16 Kilo’s this morning. I wandered around the flat in ever decreasing circles, cleaning, moving things, switching things off. My spirit appears to begin the journey before my body, I feel myself becoming lighter, frailer and more transparent as I prepare to leave one city to travel to another 4000 miles away. 

I am posting on for the next 3 weeks 

Monday, 26 March 2012

Fear Or Faith

I am flying to Miami tomorrow. Currently my suitcases is over flowing onto my bedroom floor, full of things that I don't need and won't use. My first draft of packing is fear based. Fuelled by a sense of lack and impending doom (Hello darkness my old friend) I gather together all my worldly goods and try to organise them into one large container. Later after a nights sleep and trying to lift the case I decide that I need to edit.

Monday, 19 March 2012

Blue Sky Thinking

Opened a pack, Made pancakes with caramelised banana and vanilla yogurt this morning. Took Stella out for a walk to St James Park. The man who runs the hawks on Trafalgar Square gave me tips about what to do if Kes swoops down to prey on my puppies ass. He says pick the dog up and turn your back to the bird. Excellent, I am on high alert, 'pick and turn', like 'duck and cover', or 'swim under the shark'. Totally useless advice really as times of danger I normally find my natural instinct is to 'freeze and scream'.

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Dark Shadows

Oh it would appear that there is a God after all. It may be that there are quite a few. One of them is Tim Burton, another is Johnny Depp and they have put together yet another incredible film, watch the trailer, it looks hilarious.

Perfect Day Part 5

Late lunch in Yauatcha Soho, we had Dim Sum, tea and cakes. I ordered an infusion of Orange Pekong called 'Lovers Leap' and we shared 3 cakes, a praline, pear and gold leaf, a bright red raspberry and chocolate mouse, and a ginger and caramel coup. The food and cakes cost a fortune, everything else - priceless.

Perfect Day Part 4

A real friend would not buy you a pound and a half of Champagne Truffles 10 days before you were due to put a bikini on.  Gwyneth Paltrow wrote about 'frenemies' in an article where she appeared to be having a dig at Madonna. I know where she was coming from ...

Perfect Day Part 3

I got a new perfume, paid for partially by my only relative, the one I made for myself a number of years ago.  The English name of this scent is Chasing Butterflies. It smells of jasmine and orange blossom. I love it. Last year I bought a single note jasmine perfume from the same shop, I went back this year to find that it had been discontinued. The only thing you can rely upon these days is change.

Perfect Day Part 2

A lovely walk through the park with Stella. Birthday's are often times of reflection and I thought of Chilli as I walked around St James yesterday. For all the loss I have incurred my little dog is the only thing that brings tears to my eyes. This time last year she was starting to get really sick. Of course I also reflect on other things like how I can't afford to be this old, how I am sure I should have made money or achieved something by now. Then I thought perhaps the goal this time is to own very little, to come and go quietly  and gently leaving little trace of existence behind.

Perfect Day Part 1

Yesterday was my birthday, I decided on the whole that I did not want to make a fuss or have a dinner or generally engage with it too much. In the end the day unfolded rather well with very little input from me. I was invited to see David Hockney at The Royal Academy by a friend who had a press pass. We had to be there at 9.45 which seemed a little brutal but we made it. Really a fabulous show if you can bare the queuing that seems to have become obligatory at London's galleries this year. There were these amazing 9 camera films of the Yorkshire landscape - totally wonderful. 

Saturday, 10 March 2012

This Is Not A Love Song

I just bought a ticket for The Ballad Of Genesis And Lady Jaye which is showing at The Gay & Lesbian Film Festival at the NFT (I won't bother dressing up ) on 26th March. I love this story, it makes me feel like maybe I do want to be in love with something other than a macaron after all.  It is also incredibly irritating that British cinema's do not seem to show too many interesting films these days. So many of the films I have wanted to see, especially art films or French films no longer open here. No wonder people download stuff.

Thursday, 8 March 2012

The Harvest Moon

The flame-red moon, the harvest moon, 

Rolls along the hills, gently bouncing,

A vast balloon, 

Till it takes off, and sinks upward

To lie on the bottom of the sky, like a gold doubloon. 

The harvest moon has come

Booming softly through heaven, like a bassoon. 

And the earth replies all night, like a deep drum.

So people can't sleep,

So they go out where elms and oak trees keep 

A kneeling vigil,in a religious hush.

The harvest moon has come!

Ted Hughes

You Saw The Whole Of The Moon

Stella and I went out to photograph the trees and the moon this evening. Naturally cool Londoners like ourselves are not interested in taking picture of common tourist type area's but this evening Trafalgar Square looked amazing.

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

And I Hate The Tree's ..

I don't really, I love them. Stella and I are working on a Tree's In The Park In The Dark photography project.

Full Moon In Virgo

When I see the moon I get homesick for a place I can't remember, a place I have forgotten, a place I will be again. 

Monday, 5 March 2012

Happiness Is ....

Stella and I had a total Hamlet moment this morning when I received an email in response to a letter I wrote to Laduree head office complaining that Stella had been asked to leave the Covent Garden branch. I pointed out to them that they had dogs in their advertisements and in Paris stores. The manager who wrote to me apologised and said that he has made it clear to staff that dogs are welcome in retail and that we could collect 8 free macaroons for our inconvenience. How totally fabulous. They even gave me the beautiful and special Tsumori Chisato box. Pity there is nothing else to complain about really ..

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Flowers From The Dead To The Living

I love the smell of Hyacinths. I read today that Hyacinths were made by the Greek God Apollo from the blood of a beautiful boy who was slain by Zepyhrus God of the West Wind in order that his soul should not be sent to Hades.

Friday, 2 March 2012

Juste A' Temps

Thankfully I got to Laduree in time to buy a Cassis Mont Blanc, yet another special edition cake in celebration of the companies 150th anniversary this year. This is an extraordinary cake in that it is actually black. Biscuit base, pureed chestnuts and fresh cream then a stack of bitter juicy blackcurrant's encased in a blackcurrant chocolate tower with a meringue turret. Insanely good and unless you get there today - gone. Today is the last day for this cake. No-one brings down the guillotine like the French. Tomorrow another special edition confection is launched. I am very focused on Laduree at the moment I still have not got over missing the grapefruit and vanilla macaron. You snooze you loose.


It's not as sunny,
I am not as happy,
As I was

Memories Of A Short & Beautiful Life

Laduree have launched a new Cherry Blossom flavoured macaron. Cherry Blossom represents various things to various cultures. In Japan it can represent suicide and and the loss of young life in war dating back to the Samurai period in Japanese history.  Like cherry blossoms, Samurai expected to have short lives. The cherry blossom also represented drops of blood.

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Leave It To The Professionals

Tried to cut some of Stella's hair with electric clippers. Now I realise the reason dog groomers charge so much is because what they do it is actually rather difficult. If it doesn't look any better in the morning we might be making an appointment ....

Nature Is Satan's Temple

A line from Antichrist -  a film which I am now obsessed with. It makes perfect sense though, the majesty and indifference of Nature. My friend says the film is all about the karmic forces within the natural world. The phrase comes to me each night as I walk through the darkened parks looking up at the moon.

Pinch Punch The First Of The Month

Woke up to sunlight this morning, Spring has arrived 20 days ahead of the Equinox. Everything changes when the sun comes out.
I had to run to Marks & Spencer to buy fruit, I had a major craving for fruit salad which is just so much better for me than my winter cravings for mash potatoes with extra butter.

Sunday, 26 February 2012

And If You Said Jump In The River

I would because I might never ever taste a grapefruit and vanilla macaron from Lauduree. They were a Valentines day only edition and they are gone, over, finis.

Saturday, 25 February 2012

To Spring by William Blake

Come o’er the eastern hills, and let our winds
Kiss thy perfumèd garments; let us taste
Thy morn and evening breath; scatter thy pearls
Upon our lovesick land that mourns for thee.

Friday, 24 February 2012

Love Is Patient And Love Is Kind

Stella and I lined up outside Supreme this morning to get the one we love the Kate Moss T-Shirt.

We May All Be Lying In The Gutter

But some of us are looking at the stars.
Stella and I attended an astrology class last week and we learnt a few basics about creating and interpreting natal charts. The first bit is easy you just go to Astro.Com and type in your details then it will take you to a page and scroll down to where it says 'chart drawings' (bottom right hand of lists) The site then produces a simple chart for you and you can begin interpretation. Our teacher told us that our sun sign - your horoscope sign - is not as important as you might think. The placement of the ascendent, moon and true node are equally informative. Once you have this information  you can check this site  to find out the meaning of 'Venus in Scorpio' (you are a cunt, will be restless in love etc.) and other planetary aspects. You can also see which elements dominate your chart. For example I lack Fire and Air and am dominated by Water and Earth - Swampthing. Stella is an Aries, dominated by Fire signs but with Venus in Pisces like me.

Monday, 20 February 2012

Chaos Reigns

Stella and I finally plucked up the courage to watch Lars Von Triers Antichrist last week. A man I know tried to get me to watch it with him once but I demanded he turn it off. I was aware of the notorious scene where Charlotte Gainsbourg's character cuts off her clitoris with a pair of scissors and it didn't seem like a good choice of date movie to me. In preparation I watched all the additional scenes first, this helped orientate me towards the larger context of the film. I took the DVD away with me this weekend and of course no-one wanted to watch it for exactly the same reasons as I had and yet I love everything about the movie now. I can't believe I denied myself for so long.

Every Day Is Like Sunday

Woke up in shabby chic bed room by the sea.
Stella could get used to the luxury of it all.
Off to the Black Douglas for breakfast
Nice food, dogs allowed, service ....laid back??
It all arrived eventually
And anyway we were in no rush
Stupidly small slices of toast though
They were lucky we didn't go all 'Westbourne Grove' on them
We just kept eating, we have known adversity before
What are we having for lunch?

Happy Birthday

I made Adela a coffee & walnut cake from a Nigella recipe. It was so incredibly good and actually pretty easy to make although baking from scratch is expensive until you stock your cupboard with all the stuff you need. One thing though, baking is a real denial breaker, I could not help but notice that almost 2 whole packs of butter and 2 bags of sugar went into this cake. Panic attack if not heart attack.