Sunday, 8 May 2011

Dog grant me the serenity

The dog seemed pretty ill when I got home from the Goetic Evocation that I attended in the afternoon. It was a wonderful ritual and we had a really interesting talk beforehand about angels and demons and various different approaches to contacting them. The Christian church would say Just Don't. Previously they would have said Just Don't followed by Inquisition and death by burning. It's funny when you discuss burning at the stake people often say, well really its the smoke that kills you (so not to worry). Actually on the subject of The Inquisition (which ended in 1640 so we have the all clear), I went to see The Devils by Ken Russell at The Barbican last week which was pretty grim. Lots of naked nuns masturbating on Christ and then a hideous torture scene at the end which I didn't actually watch because I fled the auditorium. John said 'Well it's not for the faint hearted dear', then admitted to being severely traumatised for the rest of the week because he didn't have the sense to run when I did. 

So we were talking about having our heads in heaven and our feet in hell and the process of asimilating our light and dark aspects, almost similar to a theraputic process infact. Freud was able to make useful analogies between human neurosis and demonic personalities so its not as far fetched as it might sound. Anyway it was brilliant and then we had a demonstration which was interesting. There was this really camp bit when the enochian calls of the Magician were interspersed by Chakka Khan singing I'm Every Woman blasting up from some Gay barbeque downstairs.

This evening I took the dog over to Baker Street for a slice of Bob's low GI fruit pie. She couldn't walk so I carried her as we sat on the tube I remembered a woman coming up to us in an AA meeting. She played with the dog and said 'DOG is GOD spelt backwards that dog is looking after you'. I was crying into her little head on the train because it's really true. My dog was given to me 13 years ago by a man I lived with at the time. I have been through some pretty challenging periods since then and she has always been with me. She got me out of bed when I was too depressed to wash. She gave me love and structure and introduced me to so many nice people. This little tiny dog has loved me everyday no matter what, she has always been there for me she is always pleased to see me. Over the last few years my life has got really good, I am not sad anymore, I learnt how to look after myself eventually, I am strong now, I am happy.  I know she will go soon because I do not need her anymore.

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